I made the decision to start using Pandora again after a break. My stations had been playing the same songs over and over again because I hadn't added any new music in awhile. In light of my recent music renaissance though I added two new stations and settled into an afternoon of music fun.
My first new station is all Lollapalooza music. I'd kind of zoned out until a vaguely familiar song came on. I switched to the Pandora tab on my browser and discovered a band called Ratatat playing. They're kind of rock/electronica, instrumental. Tim, who worked at the coffee shop in Raleigh, liked them and consequently, when I worked with him, they would make it onto the playlist.
This moment is really completely insignificant, or would be except that I've been feeling incredibly restless or something like that lately. I'd also like to throw the word apathetic into the mix of my feelings vocabulary. I realized that being here in Indy for almost a year is the longest I've stayed put in one place since I went to college. While at IU I moved between Bloomington and Tuxedo. By the time May rolled around I would welcome the change of scenery and happily go running to the mountains. Once I graduated, I picked up pretty quickly, I think it was October, and moved down to Raleigh. And then of course that summer was camp again. By the time I got back to Raleigh after camp, that restless feeling bubbled up again. And it's not like I wasn't happy there. I really was. Anyway, that's when I moved home. And here I am, almost a year later, not having gone anywhere. I'm really mostly happy here. I mean, my job could be better, but really, if that's all I have to complain about, I'd say I'm doing pretty well. So why do I feel like crap?
I do not want to end up being one of those nomads who can never be happy in one place for very long. I want to settle down somewhere and make a real life.
My friend is getting ready to "pull a Julia" as she described it. She's a recent college grad who moved back to her parents house and was working a crappy job. Next month she's moving to a new city to live with a good friend who has an extra room in her apartment. Sound familiar? I'm incredibly jealous of her. Starting completely over and fresh in a new city is so promising. I love that feeling.
Maybe if I didn't have so much holding me here I'd pick up and move again. That would probably be a very silly and rash decision so it's a good thing I do have that so much in my life at the moment. He's good at keeping me in the present and keeping me from doing ridiculously crazy shit like moving for no good reason.
I need to get rid of my itchy feet.