August 26, 2008

Break Me

Things that make me absolutely want to puke right now:
I am completely broke. Not like, oooh I'm kinda sorta running low on money but I can still go out for drinks and add a few new items to my closet for fall (curse you Anthropologie and JCrew for being so damn expensive!) but for real once I pay my rent and my electric bill next week I'll have $50 left in my checking account broke. About once a week I visit my online banking. This results in me putting my head on my desk and feeling like I want to freaking die. I have not actually created a budget yet, ugh I just can't do that. As much as I like making lists and pretending to be organized, I could not make a budget and stick to it. I have though cut out all unnecessary things. Unfortunately food is still expensive, and I refuse to eat crap because then my general energy level and feeling of well being slip. Just as unfortunately essentials from Target add up. Coffee, black sweater which I really do need and have been putting of buying for months, shaving cream. I do not know what to do. I will not ask my parents for money. They have done so much for me in the past that I need to start doing awesome things for them. I also will not make Adam pay for dinner every time we go out. I don't follow my every other rule as religiously anymore but I still try to keep things somewhat even. Just Fuck Fuck and Fuck.

Oh, also, to add to the list of things that make me want to vomit right now: my job. Yeah.

Awesome things that are coming up:
Long weekend, which will most likely and hopefully involve a lake, either a bit north or a bit south of here. Gossip Girl starts next week! Hooray!

I'm off to find positive energy. Or figure out how to rid myself of all this negative energy.

August 25, 2008

Not all those who wander are lost

I made the decision to start using Pandora again after a break. My stations had been playing the same songs over and over again because I hadn't added any new music in awhile. In light of my recent music renaissance though I added two new stations and settled into an afternoon of music fun.
My first new station is all Lollapalooza music. I'd kind of zoned out until a vaguely familiar song came on. I switched to the Pandora tab on my browser and discovered a band called Ratatat playing. They're kind of rock/electronica, instrumental. Tim, who worked at the coffee shop in Raleigh, liked them and consequently, when I worked with him, they would make it onto the playlist.
This moment is really completely insignificant, or would be except that I've been feeling incredibly restless or something like that lately. I'd also like to throw the word apathetic into the mix of my feelings vocabulary. I realized that being here in Indy for almost a year is the longest I've stayed put in one place since I went to college. While at IU I moved between Bloomington and Tuxedo. By the time May rolled around I would welcome the change of scenery and happily go running to the mountains. Once I graduated, I picked up pretty quickly, I think it was October, and moved down to Raleigh. And then of course that summer was camp again. By the time I got back to Raleigh after camp, that restless feeling bubbled up again. And it's not like I wasn't happy there. I really was. Anyway, that's when I moved home. And here I am, almost a year later, not having gone anywhere. I'm really mostly happy here. I mean, my job could be better, but really, if that's all I have to complain about, I'd say I'm doing pretty well. So why do I feel like crap?
I do not want to end up being one of those nomads who can never be happy in one place for very long. I want to settle down somewhere and make a real life.
My friend is getting ready to "pull a Julia" as she described it. She's a recent college grad who moved back to her parents house and was working a crappy job. Next month she's moving to a new city to live with a good friend who has an extra room in her apartment. Sound familiar? I'm incredibly jealous of her. Starting completely over and fresh in a new city is so promising. I love that feeling.
Maybe if I didn't have so much holding me here I'd pick up and move again. That would probably be a very silly and rash decision so it's a good thing I do have that so much in my life at the moment. He's good at keeping me in the present and keeping me from doing ridiculously crazy shit like moving for no good reason.
I need to get rid of my itchy feet.

August 21, 2008

Good morning starshine

1. Would you bang your neighbor?
neighbor to the right: no. she's a little old for me. neighbor to the left: no. she's a little to weird for me. though i've heard her bang her boyfriend many a time. i think joyful orgasms are the most magical noise to wake up to.

2. What describes your relationship status?
happily taken

3. Where are you?

4. What's the last movie you saw?
me you and everyone we know. it was one of those independent films that tried way to hard to be independent, which ultimately was its downfall.

5. Do you live with your parents?
i'm an independent woman.

6. Who have you talked to most today?
well, since it's only 9am and i'm not too chatty before i finish my coffee, just the mira doggy. she never gives me morning sass.

7. What color is your underwear?
pinkish redish

8. Color of your shirt?

9. How many years of language have you taken?
9.5 of spanish

10. Who's the first person in your Contacts List in your phone?
Abrams, my eye doctor.

11. Do you wish on 11:11?
sometimes i do yes. also sometimes on 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 5:55 and 12:34

12. Good advice if you ever go camping?
bring a flashlight, and fire starting paper

13. Are you a bad influence?
bad? i don't know. i'm an influence of some sort. my friend just told me she's "pulling a julia" by picking up and moving to go live with a friend. i'm incredibly excited for her.

14. Do you enjoy Diet Rockstars?
I prefer coffee for my caffeinated beverages.

15. Would you rather have your name or your sibling's?
well mine, since my sibling has a boy's name.

16. Favorite color?

17. Do you like cookies?
YES. pretty much any kind of cookie. i can eat entire packages of cookies in one sitting, which is why i do not allow them in my apartment.

18. What song is playing right now?
the boxer, simon and garfunkel

19. What would you do if the person you loved moved across the world?
i would follow him

20. Last time you went out to lunch?
Sunday at the zoo with adam.

21. What is to the right of you?
a pile of manuscripts that i need to read.

22. Who is your favorite character on Friends?
tricky question. i'm leaning towards ross or rachel honestly.

23. What's your favorite band?
not a fair question, similar to the favorite book/author question. i have about a million. there are a few classics that i can always put on though: matt nathanson, guster, the beatles, ben folds, tristan prettyman.

24. Do you watch Family Guy regularly?

25. Do you read trashy romance novels often?
nope. chick lit is my trashy romance novel. i could never stoop that low.

26. Favorite drink at Starbucks?
i don't drink starbucks. i drink local coffeeshop coffee. it's much tastier.

27. Do you sing obnoxiously in the car?
yes. with all the windows open for the world to hear.

28. What are you?
a fool in love

29. Would you rather freeze to death or burn to death?
would you rather wonder how you're going to die or how you're living?

30. Have true love or be a millionaire?
i'm shooting for both right now. I aim high.

31. Give up alcohol or marijuana?

32. Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization?
i can be. i'm not obsessively clean, but i cannot live in filth and when it hits that point i clean like a crazy woman. i also organize random things, like my closet and some things at work. mostly i'm an unorganized mess.

33. Have you ever been to South America or Africa?
yep, ecuador. it was amazing. i'd love to further explore south america.

34. Are you high?
on life, wahahaha.

35. Do you swear?
my new favorite is shitballs. i also use frick a lot in place of the f word, which i am trying to use minimally.

36. Baskin Robbins or Coldstone?
baskin robbins. specifically the clowns they made in the upside down ice cream cones.

37. Physics or chemistry?
i have a liberal arts degree and work at a magazine. do you really think i like science at all?

38. Who was the last person you yelled at?
mirabelle, to get off the couch.

39. Roadtrip or fly?
roadtrip. flying and airports stress me out.

40. What's your favorite Disney movie?
robin hood and aladdin

41. How's your day?
so far, ok. coffee's done, music's playing, haven't done any real work yet.

42. Would you rather eat sushi or escargot?

43. Do you ever want to get married?

44. Are you happy?
well. yes and no. i'm being positive about things that are not ideal right now.

Real post to come later, i promise!

August 13, 2008

fuel me up

Reading about alternate fuels in my CNN morning email. I like what Robert McCormick, the principal engineer at the U.S. Department of Energy's National Renewable Energy Lab in Colorado says. He "believes that 'just making more' is not enough. 'I think that the answer to reducing our petroleum-import problem and reducing the carbon emissions from transportation is really threefold. It involves replacement fuels like biofuels, it involves using much more efficient vehicles than we use today, and it involves driving less."
I could probably rant and go on about alternate fuels and vehicle emissions and saving the planet all day. I'll refrain. If you know me at all, you know where I stand on that topic. I'm waiting for the day when I need a new car and can buy a hybrid:D

August 8, 2008

What you say?

Ah yes, quotes of the week.

Adam: OK, you're on ice cream patrol.
Me: I'm looking for the ice cream place?
Adam: No you get to hold the ice cream. But be on the lookout for exotic cars.
Me: I always am.

Me: Hey yay! Guster has baby girls!
Ian: Guster mated?
Me: They're all married. They all had babies.
Ian: They're gays. They mated
(for the record my brother is not homophobic, despite how he may sound here.)

Me: I thought you voted for the good George W.
Ian: I did, and don't regret it...nor am I educated enough on the subject to have the knowledge to regret it - so for me voting is a win win
Me: that is truly amazing
Ian: I try
Me: You could make some serious money publicizing that quote.
Ian: That's all I'm out to do anyway {make money}
Me: Isn't everybody? the day I'm rich I'm gonna stop working and buy 10 horses and lay in a field with them all day.
Ian: I'm going to buy a bunch of brand name shit and cars that fuck the environment!

Take your balls out of your purse. {general them and saying of last weekend}

August 4, 2008

Hippies, hipsters, and rock n roll oh my!

Lollapalooza 2008.
Sam, Marnie, and I spent the weekend in music heaven. We'd talked about going for a couple of years and this year we're finally all in the area at the right time. So we got our tickets and personalized our band schedules on Lollapalooza's website. Generally speaking, when I have incredibly high expectations for something, especially a mini trip, I am usually disappointed. This weekend proved me so very wrong. I had the most amazingly wonderfully time with my two beautiful friends. We talked ourselves out about boys, old friends, gossip, work and tons of other random things. On top of the fabulous company, we had fabulous music. Two days of band hopping in the most incredible setting. Every time I looked up at the Chicago skyline that surrounds Grant Park, I was amazed. This festival full of dirty, music loving people plopped down in the middle of a huge city. It's pretty cool. Prime people watching. Plentiful tattoos and dreds.

Friday night Sam and I got into town just in time to meet Marnie outside of her apartment and book it to Grant Park to see Radiohead. They're a pretty diverse band and I was very impressed with the show. (as a side note, I've never listened to a lot of Radiohead.) We then met up with Jannson and some of his and Marnie's friends plus Meredith and spent the night dancing and singing at a bar called the Hang Up. We didn't get to bed until 5AM. When the girls of 717 party, we do it right!
Saturday morning we woke up with a little bit of our voices gone (what happens when you try to talk in a really loud bar) and kinda hungover. On our way to the park we stopped at Walgreen's where Sam bought Bounce sheets, which are supposed to work like bug spray when rubbed on your arms and legs. Not sure if they kept the buggies away but they smelled really good:) Our Lollapalooza line up for the day was as follows
Dierks Bentley (yeah country at Lolla!)
Explosions in the Sky (OK, kinda, we heard them as we stood in line for the bathroom/ice cream)
Okkervil River
Broken Social Scene
Wilco was great. Also really enjoyed MGMT and Okkervil River. Despite the hangovers and minimal hours of sleep the day was still good. Thank God we went to bed at a decent hour that night. It made all the difference on Sunday I think.

Sunday morning we had breakfast with Marnie's old roommate (most amazing cheese grits I've encountered in the north!) and then took off for the last day. Line up

What Made Milwaukee Famous
The Whigs
John Butler Trio
Amadou & Mariam
Iron & Wine
Gnarls Barkley
The National
I really enjoyed all the bands we saw on Sunday. What Made Milwaukee Famous was a really great accidental find. John Butler Trio absolutely blew me away with incredible guitar picking and jamming. The National, well they've been my new favorite band lately and they did not disappoint. Unfortunately Sam and I had to leave to get home and missed Kanye West. Even more unfortunately we screwed up the I65 detour and ended up driving all the way to South Bend on I80/94. Awesome.

I'm dragging a bit today thanks to getting to bed at 4AM on top of all the walking and sitting out in the sun we did, but it was all so very worth it. I can't wait to really investigate all the new music I discovered. Yay for my ever expanding music collection! Can't wait for Lollapalooza 09 ladies!!