Break Me

Things that make me absolutely want to puke right now:
I am completely broke. Not like, oooh I'm kinda sorta running low on money but I can still go out for drinks and add a few new items to my closet for fall (curse you Anthropologie and JCrew for being so damn expensive!) but for real once I pay my rent and my electric bill next week I'll have $50 left in my checking account broke. About once a week I visit my online banking. This results in me putting my head on my desk and feeling like I want to freaking die. I have not actually created a budget yet, ugh I just can't do that. As much as I like making lists and pretending to be organized, I could not make a budget and stick to it. I have though cut out all unnecessary things. Unfortunately food is still expensive, and I refuse to eat crap because then my general energy level and feeling of well being slip. Just as unfortunately essentials from Target add up. Coffee, black sweater which I really do need and have been putting of buying for months, shaving cream. I do not know what to do. I will not ask my parents for money. They have done so much for me in the past that I need to start doing awesome things for them. I also will not make Adam pay for dinner every time we go out. I don't follow my every other rule as religiously anymore but I still try to keep things somewhat even. Just Fuck Fuck and Fuck.

Oh, also, to add to the list of things that make me want to vomit right now: my job. Yeah.

Awesome things that are coming up:
Long weekend, which will most likely and hopefully involve a lake, either a bit north or a bit south of here. Gossip Girl starts next week! Hooray!

I'm off to find positive energy. Or figure out how to rid myself of all this negative energy.

the (potential) death of franny

i've killed franny. on my way to work yesterday i rear ended a car. i'm not entirely sure it was my fault as he was stopped in the middle of the road, no hazard lights on or anything. though mostly my fault. by the time the whole ordeal was over i was 2 hours late for work, sopping wet and shivering, and had recieved a ticket and a mandatory court date, which conviniently falls right in the middle of our chicago excursion. you can view the damages to the left. the radiator is also apparently smashed back. i'm fucked. either i clean out my savings account to fix the damages or i clean out my savings account to buy a new car. oh well, minor setback.